Saturday, June 26, 2010

Explaining the Ego and it's relationship with the modern false Ego

The Ego. One of the most unknown practices we use and follow today for everyday decision.
The first thing to understand when talking about the ego is that when a child enters this world - he is without any knowledge or consciousness of his own self. And when he is born the first thing he becomes aware of is not himself - it is of the other. It is natural, because the senses open outward, eg: eyes are open towards the outside, the ears listen to others, the tongue tastes food and the nose takes heed of it's new atmosphere.

That is what birth means is it not? Entering this new world; a world of untreaded path. When this child is born, the first thing he becomes aware of is what he sees. And what he sees is not himself - it is the others. "Others" meaning the "new faces" or "new experiences" if I could put it that way. His mother is the first. Then after time he becomes aware of his own body, which is that too - the other. The other - that too belongs to the world. He is hungry and he feels the body; his need is satisfied, he forgets the body.

This is how a child grows. First he becomes aware of you, the others, and then after time, in contrast to you, the others and so then he becomes aware of himself.

But this awareness is only but a reflected awareness. He is not aware of who he is. He is simply aware of the mother and what she thinks about him. If she smiles, if she appreciates the child, if she says, "You are beautiful" the child feels good about himself. Now an ego is born.

Through appreciation, love and care he feels he is and has done good, he feels he is valuable and he feels he has some sort of significance.

A center is born.

But this center is a reflected center. It is not his real being. He does not know who he is; he simply knows what others think about him. And this is the ego: the reflection, what others think. If nobody thinks that he is of any use, nobody appreciates him, nobody smiles, then too an ego is born: an ill ego; an ego existing of sadness, rejection and like a wound; feeling inferior and worthless. This too is the ego. This too is the reflection. But only a more diabolic side.

First the mother - and mother means the world to the boy in the beginning. And slowly over time, others will join the mother and then the world goes on growing. And the more the world grows, the more complex the ego becomes, because many others' opinions are reflected.

The ego is an accumulated phenomenon, a by-product of living with others. If a child lives totally alone, he will never come to grow an ego. But that is not going to help. He will remain like an animal. That doesn't mean that he will come to know the real self, no.

The real can be known only through the false, so the ego is a must. One has to pass through it. In other words it is a sort of discipline. The real can be known only through the illusion. You cannot know the truth directly. First you have to know that which is not true. First you have to encounter the untrue. Through that encounter you become capable of knowing the truth. If you know the false as the false, the truth will dawn upon you.

Ego is a need; it is a social need, it is a social by-product. The society means all that is around you - not you, but all that is around you. All, minus you, is the society. And everybody reflects. You will go to school and the teacher will reflect who you are. You will be in friendship with other children and they will reflect who you are. By and by, everybody is adding to your ego, and everybody is trying to modify it in such a way that you don't become a problem to the society in which they hold or have created for and against you.

They are not concerned with you.

They are concerned with the society.

Society is concerned with itself, and that's how it should be.

They are not concerned that you should become a self-knower. They are concerned that you should become an efficient part in the mechanism of the society. You should fit into the pattern. So they are trying to give you an ego that fits with the society. They teach you morality. And all morality means is the objecting of giving you an ego which will fit with the society. If you are immoral, you will always be a misfit somewhere or other. That's why we put criminals in jail - not that they have done something wrong, not that by putting them in the prisons we are going to improve them, no. They simply don't fit. They are troublemakers. They have certain types of egos of which the society doesn't approve. If the society approves, everything is good.

One man kills somebody - he is a murderer.

And the same man in wartime kills thousands - he becomes a great hero. The society is not bothered by a murder, but the murder should be commited for the society - then it is okay. The society doesn't bother about morality.

Morality means only that you should fit with the society.

If the society is at war, then the morality changes.

If the society is at peace, then there is a different morality.

Morality is a social politics. It is diplomacy. And each child has to be brought up in such a way that he fits into the society, that's all. Because society is interested in efficient members. Society is not interested that you should attain to self-knowledge.

The society creates an ego because the ego can be controlled and manipulated. The self can never be controlled or manipulated. Nobody has ever heard of the society controlling a self - and that's simply because it is not possible.

The child needs a center; the child is completely unaware of his own center. The society gives him a center and the child is by and by convinced that this is his center which is the ego that society gives him.

A child comes back to his home - if he has come first in his class, the whole family is happy. You hug and kiss him, and you take the child on your shoulders and dance and you say, "What a beautiful child! You are a pride to us." You are giving him an ego, a subtle ego. And if the child comes home dejected, unsuccessful, a failure - he couldn't pass, or he has just been on the back bench - then nobody appreciates him and the child feels rejected. He will try harder next time, because the center feels shaken.

Ego is always shaken, always in search of meaning, that somebody should appreciate it. That's why you continuously ask for attention.

You get the idea of who you are from others.

It is not a direct experience.

It is from others that you get the idea of who you are. They shape your center. This center is false, because you carry your real center. That is nobody's business. Nobody shapes it.

You come with it.

You are born with it.

So you have two centers. One center you come with, which is given by existence itself. That is the self. And the other center, which is created by the society, is the ego. It is a false thing - and it is a very great trick. Through the ego the society is controlling you. You have to behave in a certain way, because only then does the society appreciate you. You have to walk in a certain way; you have to laugh in a certain way; you have to follow certain manners, a morality, a code. Only then will the society appreciate you, and if it doesn't, you ego will be shaken. And when the ego is shaken, you don't know where you are or who you are.

The others have given you the idea.

That idea is the ego.

Try to understand it as deeply as possible, because this has to be thrown. And unless you throw it you will never be able to attain to the self. Because you are addicted to the center, you cannot move, and you cannot look at the self.

And remember, there is going to be an interim period, an interval, when the ego will be shattered, when you will not know who you are, when you will not know where you are going, when all boundaries will melt.

You will simply be confused, a chaos.

Because of this chaos, you are afraid to lose the ego. But it has to be so. One has to pass through the chaos before one attains to the real center.

And if you are daring, the period will be small.

If you are afraid, you again fall back to the ego and you again start arranging it, then it can be very, very long; many lives can be wasted.

For example: One small child was visiting his grandparents. He was just four years old. In the night when the grandmother was putting him to sleep, he suddenly started crying and weeping and said, "I want to go home. I am afraid of darkness." But the grandmother said, "I know well that at home also you sleep in the dark; I have never seen a light on. So why are you afraid here?" The boy said, "Yes, that's right - but that is MY darkness." This darkness is completely unknown.

Even with darkness you feel, "This is MINE."

Outside - an unknown darkness.

With the ego you feel, "This is MY darkness."

It may be troublesome, maybe it creates many miseries, but still mine. Something to hold to, something to cling to, something underneath the feet; you are not in a vacuum, not in an emptiness. You may be miserable, but at least you ARE. Even being miserable gives you a feeling of 'I am'. Moving from it, fear takes over; you start feeling afraid of the unknown darkness and chaos - because society has managed to clear a small part of your being.

It is just like going to a forest. You make a little clearing and you clear a little ground; you build fencing and you build a small hut; you make a small garden, a lawn and you are okay. Beyond your fence is the forest and the wild. The complete unknown; but yet, inside your clearing - you have planned it perfectly, and this is how it is was supposed to be played out infront of you.

Society has made a little clearing in your consciousness. It has cleaned just a little part completely, fenced it. Everything is okay there. That's what the majority of your universities are doing. The whole culture and conditioning is just to clear a part so that you can feel at home there.

And then you become afraid.

Beyond the fence there is danger.

Beyond the fence you are, as within the fence you are - and your conscious mind is just one part, one-tenth of your whole being. Nine-tenths is waiting in the darkness. And in that nine-tenths, somewhere your real center is hidden.

One has to be daring, courageous.

One has to take a step into the unknown.

For a while all boundaries will be lost.

For a while you will feel dizzy.

For a while, you will feel very afraid and shaken, as if an earthquake has happened. But if you are courageous and you don't go backwards, if you don't fall back to the ego and you go on and on, there is a hidden center within you that you have been carrying for many lives.

That is your SOUL. THE SELF.

Once you come near it, everything changes, everything settles again. But now this settling is not done by the society. Now everything becomes a cosmos, not a chaos; a new order arises.

But this is no longer the order of the society - it is the very order of existence itself.

It is what Buddha calls Dhamma, Lao Tzu calls Tao, Heraclitus calls Logos. It is not man-made. It is the VERY order of existence itself. Then everything is suddenly beautiful again, and for the first time really beautiful, because man-made things cannot be beautiful. At the most you can hide the ugliness of them, that's all. You can decorate them, but they can never be beautiful.

The difference is just like the difference between a real flower and a plastic or paper flower. The ego is a plastic flower - dead. It just looks like a flower, it is not a flower. You cannot really call it a flower. Even linguistically to call it a flower is wrong, because a flower is something which flowers. And this plastic thing is just a thing, not a flowering. It is dead. There is no life in it.

You have a flowering center within. That's why Hindus call it a Lotus - it is flowering in itself. They call it the one-thousand-petaled-lotus. One thousand means infinite petals. And it goes on flowering - never ceasing to stop and never wanting to die.

But you are satisfied with a plastic ego.

There are some reasons why you are satisfied. With a dead thing, there are many conveniences. One is that a dead thing never dies. It cannot - it was never alive. So you can have plastic flowers, they are good in a way. They are permanent; they are not eternal, but yet they are permanent.

The real flower outside in the garden is eternal, but not permanent. And the eternal has its own way of being eternal. The way of the eternal is to be born again and again and to die. Through death it refreshes itself, rejuvenates itself.

To us it appears that the flower has died - it never dies.

It simply changes bodies, so it is ever fresh.

It leaves the old body, it enters a new body. It flowers somewhere else; it goes on flowering.

But we cannot see the continuity because the continuity is invisible. We see only one flower, another flower; we never see the continuity.

It is the same flower which flowered yesterday.

It is the same sun, but in a different garb.

The ego has a certain quality - it is dead. It is a plastic thing. And it is very easy to get it, because others give it. You need not seek it, there is no search involved. That's why unless you become a seeker after the unknown, you have not yet become an individual. You are just a part of the crowd. You are just a mob.

When you don't have a real center, how can you be an individual?

The ego is not individual. Ego is a social phenomenon - it is society, its not you. But it gives you a function in the society, a hierarchy in the society. And if you remain satisfied with it, you will miss the whole opportunity of finding the self.

And that's why you are so miserable.

With a plastic life, how can you be happy?

With a false life, how can you be ecstatic and blissful? And then this ego creates many miseries, millions of them.

You cannot see, because it is your own darkness. You are attuned to it.

Have you ever noticed that all types of miseries enter through the ego? It cannot make you blissful; it can only make you miserable.

The ego is simply hell itself.

Whenever you suffer, just try to watch and analyze, because you will find somewhere the ego is the cause of it. And the ego goes on finding causes to suffer.

You are an egoist, as everyone is. Some are very gross, just on the surface, and they are not so difficult. Some are very subtle, deep down, and they are the real problems.

This ego comes continuously in conflict with others because every ego is so unconfident about itself. Is has to be - it is a false thing. When you don't have anything in your hand and you just think that something is there, then there will be a problem.

If somebody says, "There is nothing," immediately the fight will start, because you also feel that there is nothing. The other makes you aware of the fact.

Ego is false, it is nothing.

That you also know.

How can you miss knowing it? It is impossible! A conscious being - how can he miss knowing that this ego is just false? And then others say that there is nothing - and whenever the others say that there is nothing they hit a wound, they say a truth - and nothing hits like the truth.

You have to defend, because if you don't defend and you don't become defensive, then where will you be?

You will be lost.

The identity will be broken.

So you have to defend and fight - that is the clash.

A man who attains to the self is never in any clash. Others may come and clash with him, but he is never in clash with anybody.

It happened that one Zen master was passing through a street. A man came running and hit him hard. The master fell down. Then he got up and started to walk in the same direction in which he was going before, not even looking back.

A disciple was with the master. He was simply shocked. He said, "Who is this man? What is this? If one lives in such a way, then anybody can come and kill you. And you have not even looked at that person, who he is, and why he did it."

The master said, "That is his problem, not mine."

You can clash with an enlightened man, but that is your problem, not his. And if you are hurt in that clash, that too is your own problem. He cannot hurt you. And it is like knocking against a wall - you will be hurt, but the wall has not hurt you.
The ego is always looking for some trouble. Why? Because if nobody pays attention to you, the ego feels hungry.

It lives on attention.

So even if somebody is fighting and angry with you, that too is good because at least the attention is paid. If somebody loves, it is okay. But if somebody is not loving you, then even anger will be good. At least the attention will come to you. But if nobody is paying any attention to you, nobody thinks that you are somebody important or significant then how will you feed your ego?

Other's attention is needed.

In millions of ways you attract the attention of others; you dress in a certain way, you try to look beautiful, you behave, you become very polite and you change. When you feel what type of situation is there, you immediately change so that people pay attention to you.

This is a deep begging.

A real beggar is one who asks for and demands attention. And a real emperor is one who lives in himself; he has a center of his own, he doesn't depend on anybody else.

Like Buddha sitting under his Bodhi tree... If the whole world suddenly had to disappear, would it make any difference to Buddha? - none at all. And why? Because he has attained to the center.

But you, if the wife escapes, divorces you, goes to somebody else and you are completely shattered - because she had been paying attention to you, caring, loving, moving around you and helping you to feel that you were somebody. Your whole empire is lost, you are simply shattered. You start thinking about suicide. Why? Why if a wife leaves you should you commit suicide? Why if a husband leaves you should you commit suicide? Because you don't have any center of your own. The wife was giving you the center or the husband was giving you the center.

This is how people exist. This is how people become dependent on others. It is a deep slavery. Ego HAS to be a slave. It depends on others. And only a person who has no ego is for the first time a master because he is no longer a slave. Try to understand this.

And start looking for the ego - not in others, that is not your business - but rather look in yourself. Whenever you feel miserable, immediately close you eyes and try to find out from where the misery is coming and you will always find it is the false center which has clashed with someone.

And remember, there is no need to drop the ego.

You cannot drop it.

If you try to drop it, you will attain to a certain subtle ego again which says, "I have become humble."

Don't try to be humble. That is again, just the ego in hiding - but it's not dead.

Nobody can try humility, and nobody can create humility through any effort of his own - no. When the ego is no more, a humbleness comes to you. It is not a creation. It is a shadow of the real center.

And a really humble man is neither humble nor egoistic.

He is simply... Simple.

He's not even aware that he is humble.

If you are aware that you are humble, the ego is there.

Look at humble persons... There are millions who think that they are very humble. They bow down very low, but watch them - they are the subtlest egoists. Now humility is their source of food. They say, "I am humble," and then they look at you and they wait for you to appreciate them.

"You are really humble," they would like you to say. "In fact, you are the most humble man in the world; nobody is as humble as you are." Then see the smile that comes on their faces.

What is ego? Ego is a hierarchy that says, "No one is like me." It can feed on humbleness - "Nobody is like me, I am the most humble man."

Whatsoever you do - humbleness, humility, simplicity - nothing will help. Only one thing is possible, and that is just to watch and see that it is the source of all misery. Don't say it. Don't repeat it - WATCH. Because if I say it is the source of all misery and you repeat it, then it is useless. YOU have to come to that understanding. Whenever you are miserable, just close the eyes and don't try to find some cause outside. Try to see from where this misery is coming.

It is your own ego.

Anybody can see someone else's ego. When it comes to your own, then the problem arises - because you don't know the territory, you have never traveled on it.

The whole path towards the divine, the ultimate, has to pass through this territory of the ego. The false has to be understood as false. The source of misery has to be understood as the source of misery - Only then will the ego drop.

But the bottom line is, and the saddest part to the story - it is only intuition that guides us to evolve spiritually. And sadly, some people do not have this intuition - their drive is to be fooled by the false and to be told that they're happy - not that they are forced to but it is only because... They want to.

Excerpts from Sufi, Osho.

Wednesday, June 16, 2010


What if I did something to you, and thought the complete opposite? In other words - I do something, think it's positive and then you just fester over it thinking how much I am in the wrong and that how I am destined for "justice" or "revenge" if I could put it that way.. Just a come back in other words. Am I supposed to be waiting for that slap in the face?

Maybe someone does/says something to you and in your eyes it's horribly wrong, but to them - it's as normal as anything else they would do, and they are not even aware of what they have done. Are they waiting for a certain doom/revenge/justice coming from your side? It doesn't necessarily mean that they are in the wrong in the "universe's" or "god's" eyes but it basically means that you are pushing your own opinion into another person's destiny. Which is... Totally stupid don't you think? The great question is... WHO IS THE JUDGE?

Take the Torah (Hebrew bible) into question. What about the phrase "An eye for an eye"... Is that supposed to be interpreted as revenge, justice or maybe.. Consideration? And remember justice can also be repeating the offense to the offender to give him/her a "taste of their own medicine". Revenge can just be "getting back" at the person no matter what it is, the only goal revenge has is making their experience difficult in any way possible so the limit is limitless in other words.

And the Christian Bible which speaks of turning the other cheek?.. That's the universal justice that is supposed to be in view no matter how long the wait is. In other words, you can kick back and watch everything happen in view because.. It is going to happen. Right?..

And then you get the Atheists talking about "Universal Laws"... Aren't universal laws what you make of it? If I get brought up to believe that there is a reaction for each and every action then what way do I present each action?
What if I got told that the most important object in my life was to go to war and risk my life for a religion. And if I had to die I would be living like the Divine in heaven? What then?
When I have a spear through my heart would I have a smile on my face?
The sad truth is that ideas like that have and still do exist; take a look at the suicide bombers involved with al Qaeda...

Or what of the Qur'an? It clearly depicts that you have an option for an exact retribution towards the offender; acceptance of a token of forgiveness (eg: money or whatever it may be) OR... Complete forgiveness towards the action. No it doesn't matter on how serious the offense is, and if it did - the Qur'an would state it.

All I'm saying is.. Are you the judge?

If that is the case with Karma, then you better watch your actions and words because there are a lot of people out there...

Tuesday, June 1, 2010

Hypocrisy, the ego and human degeneracy

In it's purest and most lovable form.
It can only unfold no less than every day in and every day out.

The only question I have for the knowing is... Why would you so blindly follow the inevitable when the outcome is merely the same answer that humanity has been cursed with over and over again in each and every single generation since the Babylonians and beyond - when one person after the next, falls deeper into the misunderstood trap that is the false ego that authority has created for us to blossom in. And into what? Into the human understanding today that is so deeply entrenched in reckless animalistic ambitions; it would take years if not generations to change.. We call it, the ego.

It's the ego that you all so blindly follow, never changing and never breathing. It remains as dead as the killer's soul intention... Dimmed down or put down - we all can feel the wounds over time but yet we still push ourselves to forget and choose to thrive in it; the devilish world of deceit and hate. Nothing could put the term of the 21st century human ego into light to those who are not aware of it. Simply because the 21st century has begun a new frontier in the development of the false ego, people now enjoy the life of false happiness - and this false happiness we have created, has ripened us for the picking in a 'one thought, one mind community'. A material life where we constantly get battered into money, fashion, fast cars, fast women and obliteration of the self. This isn't your hollywood life, it's what you've been molded into believing. And it's what you want to believe is the best path to your own salvation. And sadly the salvation for the modern man is not enlightenment, not love, not the positive effects you have on other people..... It's acceptance.

And accepting to be fooled into this false idea of life through money, glamour and modernized family tradition will only cause you to lead a lifeless understanding of what it really means to be FREE AND KNOWING.